“Life is a gift, as well as children, so don’t let addiction take that away from you”

This is not about mental illness or trauma so I won’t make it about that but it’s a coincidence that all hit me (addiction) back in 1994. To briefly touch on the mental illness, I had an eating disorder which freakishly came by chance (started with a diet) that lasted around two years and was horrific leading to a breakdown and a lifetime of further mental health struggles, trauma – and worsened after seeing my mum having a nervous breakdown.

Drugs for me didn’t come along through any of the above by peer pressure but the sad part is I was already damaged psychologically before I ever even entertained any forms of drugs.

For us back then it was what did and you could say normal. I started using cannabis and drinking alcohol at the age of 14 years, with spliff and homemade bongs. My first drug after cannabis was speed – which over the years became very normal to me and then I took all kind of drugs. I tried crack for the first time at 18 years old and although I wouldn’t class myself as being hugely addicted I was and crack and cannabis became my choice of drug over the years.

Recovery for me started two to three year – and the last five years on the whole have been the worst of my whole life – from the psychological abuse I have received in and out of working which hugely impacted my mental health and lead to a complete collapse for me as person.

I decided I had enough and it was time to save myself and get myself a better quality of life. I wanted to beat this horrific period of poor mental health so the drugs had to go once and for all.

I went to rehab back in 2023 which was amazing but I still struggled very much with my mental health. There has been bumps in the road, but I can now say I’m firmly back on track. I can’t handle drugs anymore as they will destroy my mental health, life and everything I hold dear to me.

I have been completely clean for two months now and although early days I at least now have a platform to build myself on psychologically. I’m in a good place regarding how I look at drug use, I look back and I wish I’d never taken a single drug in my entire life but I can’t change that I can change my present and my future.

I will be in recovery now for the rest of my life and I will struggle also with mental health issues for the rest of my life, these are battles that will stay but I won’t let them define me or stop me living and building a life.

I have two amazing children that deserve a fit, well and proper Father and that is what I intend to be. Life is a gift, as well as children, so don’t let addiction take that away from you.

There is a saying, THE DRUGS DON’T WORK THEY MAKE YOU WORSE – and I stand by that every day of the week as they will ruin your life and they will take in the end. Thank you for reading my story.